Being a part of the Sandwich Generation isn’t much fun. For a start, you don’t really get to choose your own sandwich filling! It’s pretty much served up to you – often in copious amounts! But … it’s how you deal with things that will make all the difference, and Debbie Viggiano has gifted us with a delightful book – Maggie in the Middle – just to remind us that we’re not alone on this journey.
Blurb:
WHEN LIFE FEELS LIKE … A TEST YOU DIDN’T STUDY FOR
When Maggie King turned sixty, she thought her life complete.
Now she’s sixty-one, and everything has gone horribly wrong.
Husband Greg has abruptly upped and left leaving Maggie bewildered. But there’s no time to question his departure because her ancient parents are all-consuming.
Once fondly referred to as the Golden Oldies, they’re now the BOBs–Bad-Tempered Old Buggers.
Sister Freya is never available to help, and Maggie is rapidly reaching the end of her tether.
She wants her life–and husband–back.
Instead, she’s trapped in what has been coined the Sandwich Generation–supporting both children and parents–except this particular sarnie is in danger of falling apart.
Maggie needs to learn that when life is like a club sandwich, it needs the best ingredients–and that includes lashings of love and some knee-trembling romance!
My Review:
To say that I could wholeheartedly relate to this book would be an understatement! To be in a position where you know you’re not exactly young anymore, but don’t consider yourself as ‘old’; to still have demanding adult children who often need your support, but who somehow feel like they can ‘adult’ you at the same time – and I don’t mean in a ‘difficult’ way – just that children need their parents, regardless of their age, and this demands your time and energy (often, your finances too!) – meanwhile as much as they need you, they also want you to start needing them to assert themselves over your decisions and lifestyle; and then to find yourself having to parent your own parents who have become far less capable than they were, even though they’re struggling with the most simple everyday things and refuse to acknowledge their own decline … it’s all incredibly overwhelming!
This is the position that Maggie finds herself in, attempting to cope with it all on her own. Her children are thankfully quite understanding, but although they’re adults who don’t live at home anymore, they’re still very much dependent on her.
But her parents have become quite the challenge. With her mother suffering from full-blown dementia and her father’s refusal to acknowledge that there’s any problem, while he himself is becoming increasingly frail and forgetful, Maggie’s frustration and desperation reach an all-time high. Unfortunately her (married, but childless) sister Freya, who should be sharing Maggie’s responsibility for their parents has opted out of the equation, declaring that her full-time job means that her time is not as flexible as Maggie’s who freelances as a photographer.
As the situation with her parents deteriorates, and Maggie’s sense of wellbeing plummets with it, she realizes that she desperately needs to do something to maintain her equilibrium – something just for herself. So she decides that she’ll get herself a dog! She has no clue where that decision is going to lead her!
I really felt for Maggie. Her challenges and struggles felt so authentic. The author has taken a very real, current issue and dealt with it in a gentle, often amusing way, without shying away from the very stark, agonizing reality. There’s very little sugar-coating and some of the situations described are distressing, but this is the truth of the situation. The feelings of helplessness, fear and concern that one feels for parents who, quite honestly, are living on a knife’s edge, are all gut-wrenchingly evoked.
However, this isn’t a depressing book at all. Far from it. There is so much hope and inspiration to be taken from Maggie’s story. It goes to show that one’s approach and attitude to whatever life throws at you really do make the difference between ‘sink’ or ‘swim’. Maggie’s inner voice is a character all on its own, and it’s hilarious – she often gets completely ahead of the situation and the conversations she has in her own head are sometimes ridiculously silly, but as Kesha said: “You have to have a sense of humour about life to get through it!”
I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants a thoroughly absorbing, relevant and light-hearted read, about something that often seems extremely daunting: growing older. Whether it’s you, your parents or your kids, growing older has both challenges and triumphs. The key is in the actual ‘growing’ as you get there, and learning from each and every experience (even if you might not always appreciate it at the time).
Thank you to RaRa Resources for another great blog tour!
Purchase Links:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Maggie-Middle-poignant-moving-romantic-ebook/dp/B0CXQ4WQK4
https://www.amazon.com/Maggie-Middle-poignant-moving-romantic-ebook/dp/B0CXQ4WQK4
Author Bio:
Prior to turning her attention to writing, Debbie Viggiano was, for more years than she cares to remember, a legal secretary. She lives with her Italian husband, a rescued pooch from Crete, and a very disgruntled cat. Occasionally her adult children return home bringing her much joy … apart from when they want to raid the fridge or eat her secret stash of chocolate.
Tweet @DebbieViggiano or follow her on Facebook!
Social Media Links:
TWITTER: @DebbieViggiano
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/debbie.viggiano.5/
INSTAGRAM: @debbieviggiano
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